Bic (A History)

In this world, there is a shade of Orange that exists in only four places: Bic Pens, Bic Lighters, Bic Razors, and Buddhist Monks' Robes. Coincidence?

So we have always believed. Until now, when I can finally reveal the shocking truth.

History tells us that Bic came into being in December 1950 when Marcel Bich changed the focus of the company he set up 5 years previously. For the first 5 years of its life, the company had been making mechanical pencils and fountain pens, until Bich obtained the patent rights to a ballpoint pen designed by Hungarian Ladislau Biro. The design was so great that we are to believe Bich dropped mechanical pencils, fountain pens, and the "H" from his name completely. What a load of tosh.

The real story is this:

A Frenchman, a Hungarian and a Buddhist Monk walk into a bar. It is 1946, and World War 2 is still fresh in the memory, but there is great hope for peace and entrepreneurialism. The men are bored, and having little in common to talk about, they begin a game of poker. The Frenchman and the Hungarian are shocked to find that the Buddhist Monk is a poker-genius, and soon he has them over a barrel.

Out of cash, the two beg the kind monk for mercy, and an alternative means of payment. He obliges, and having only ever entered into the match as a means to raise funds for his fellow monks, seeks no personal financial gain. He tells Bich that he will ask for no more cash from him if he agrees to a life-long contract to provide the distinctive Orange robes that he and his fellow Buddhist Monks wear daily. Biro must provide the Monks with all the writing materials they require to whittle away the many boring hours the monks spend when not monking.

It seems a wonderful solution, and all leave happy. Until the next day, when Bich realises that although the Buddhist Monk has given him exclusive rights to the required shade of orange, he has nothing to make the robes from, and no cash to buy materials.Months pass, and Bich receives many letters of complaint from the Buddhist Monk. Fearing that the monks will rise against him, he cunningly changes his name to Bic, and befriends an old business-woman widow in the hope that when she dies she will leave him enough cash to buy himself out of the arrangement with the monks, or at the very least to buy the requisite materials.

Alas and alack, Bic had no such luck. The widow died quickly, and such was her love that she left him all she had - no money whatsoever. Only her failing business: a tired old plastic factory.

After many sleepless nights, Bic finally succumbed to the slumber of fatigue, in which he had a dream of clothes made of plastic! He rushed to the factory and consulted the senior management, who agreed that they had the means and the know-how to produce plastic so thin it could be worn, much like the newly invented nylon. Over the moon, he started production straight away, and within months had a batch of Orange Robes for the Buddhist Monks.

Rather than post them, he delivered them personally. The Monks were delighted with their new waterproof shell-robes. Until a strange occurrence developed. After a few hours of wear, such static was produced that each Monk's hair would stand on end, and electric shocks were administered to anybody the monk touched. Although this had great potential, the monks were a peaceful people and had no use for such weapons of mass destruction. They sent Bic off to think again, but as they'd disposed of their tattered old robes, they had no choice but to continue wearing the shell-robes. They soon learned to shave their heads, and presumably any other hair.

Try as he might, there was nothing Bic could do to raise enough cash to buy material for robes. At the end of his tether, contemplating suicide, he threw himself on the mercy of the monks, and offered to repay his debt by joining them. Appalled at the thought of such an inept fool joining their number, one young novice stepped forward and spoke wisely:

"This man's heart is not in following the path of Buddha. Let us continue to wear these robes until such times as another poker game can be won, against a man more useful. In the meantime, Monsieur Bic can assist us by producing razors with which to shave our heads, and lighters with which to light our candles. If he liaises with Mr Biro, then he can save money on the materials he uses to make our pens."

And THAT is how it came to be that this particular shade of orange can be found in only those four places!

Disclaimer: Any similarity to real people, places, or events is entirely coincidental.